Muthoni Waigwa: Welcome to the Tales of Strength and Resilience podcast, where we explore the boundless dimensions of strength and resilience. Join me, your host, Muthoni Waigwa, on a transformative journey as we delve into the very essence of these profound qualities. We will unveil the multifaceted nature of strength and resilience in heartfelt conversations with extraordinary individuals. We will empower and enlighten through these inspiring stories, triumphing over adversity and discovering transformative lessons embedded within. Get ready for today's episode where untold stories of inner power and tenacity await us. Let's begin.
Hey there. Thank you for listening to this podcast wherever you are in the world. This is the sixth episode of this podcast, and we are at the halfway mark of this journey. Today, let's contemplate the concept of failure and its essential role in cultivating our strength and resilience. Failure is typically defined as the absence of success or the condition of something not functioning as intended. When we encounter moments of failure, how do we respond? Do we succumb to defeat or do we rise from the depths of adversity? Throughout my conversations with remarkable individuals thus far, I've had the privilege of gathering their profound insights on the topic of failure. In this episode, I aim to summarize and share their valuable perspectives. Let's listen to Lucy Mwakaba from Kenya as she reflects on failure.
Lucy Mwakaba: I have learned that failure is not fatal. Failure is not fatal. In as much as the society has put us in a place where all we talk about are our successes, we never talk about our failures. Really failure is not fatal. The truth is all of us have failed in one way or another. And if we are honest enough, we'll say we have failed more than we have succeeded. So how do I navigate that? I'm okay, number one, with failing. Okay, I'm okay with it. And one of the things that I keep on having to remind myself is to have this conversation with my children, that even when we go for their, what is it called, their teacher, parent meeting, even when they've not had stellar results, I'm like, "You know what? You did your best. Did you do your best?" And they're able to say that, "Yes, I did my best, or I didn't do my best. I did not study," and all that.
So just to have that conversation so that my children can also understand that it's okay to fail. Now, after doing that, what is important is what do I do after failing? Do I sit there and wallow in my failure or do I get up back again? So for me, I give myself space. I allow myself space to just think. Sometimes if I am able to go somewhere and sit and think about it, or even have a conversation with someone who's very close to me about my failure and what I think I did not do, or what I think I thought I was supposed to do and I was not able to do. So just having a candid conversation with someone who's close to me and I'm able to open up also helps to bring things into perspective.
And then also, being plugged in with business people has also helped a lot. Being in forums where they're other business people has also helped a lot in the sense that as people talk about their challenges, then you realize you're not on your own. You realize that it's not unique. It's not that I am the only one who has missed a mark. So being in a forum of like-minded people, I'm in a forum where it's a women-only business. I'm in a forum where there are several business people from different walks of life. So being in such forums has helped a lot. This year I also engaged a business coach. So we've had preliminary talks. We are yet to engage completely, but even through the preliminary talks, [inaudible 00:04:54] able to gather, and the business coach began by telling the story of his life. And then you realize, you know what? I mean, we're in the same boat, as in we have all gone through things that we thought could sink us completely. And yet it was the moment where we were propelled to where we are.
Muthoni Waigwa: One thing that stands out is failure is not fatal, and we can rise up from adversity. Dorothy Nakagwa from Uganda reassures us that failure is part of the process, but we shouldn't let fear hold us back. Take the risk and step into the unknown.
Dorothy Nakagwa: For the risk-taking bit, I feel like we live in a world where we are constantly in a place of fear. Like, "Oh my God, don't do this. Don't do this because not many people have done it. What if you fail?" And so, it's like a constant fear. But when you step out of a place and you're like, "Oh yeah, fear is there and then failure is going to happen, but what if the good part happens?" And so, the fact that you know that failure can happen, but also the good part can happen, you just leap into it and see what happens. It's a natural instinct, but sometimes you just don't want to tread into those parts. But the more you allow yourself to go into those places, you honestly realize it was a whole waste of time for you to fear to tread in these places.
Muthoni Waigwa: Right? You look back and you're like, "Why was I scared in the first place? I'm doing great. Yes, I'm learning throughout the challenges and I'm pressing forward. But why was I afraid?" And it just reminds me as well of moments when I'm building my business and just taking new opportunities. And as you're saying, you look at that opportunity and you're like, "Should I do it? Should I not do it?" And then you say, "You know what? Let me just take the risk and see where it would lead me." Noor al Halabi from Lebanon shares that we can keep trying, even if we are feeling fear. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Noor al Halabi: Well, it is okay to fail. I think it is necessary to fail in a way. And as you mentioned, thank you for mentioning also your own experience in that because I think failure is a shared thing we all experience, but we rarely talk about. We always try to highlight our success. We try to highlight the good moments that we want to remember, but it's really, really necessary for us to be true about our failures and to be in a way accepting for that failure. Because if we don't accept the failure we face, I think we might get stuck just right there. And it's not where we want to be.
For me, failure was in many incidents in my journey and specifically in my work as an anthropologist, because anthropology requires you to just go out there, meet new people that might not necessarily have the same values that you have or the same lifestyle, or the same life experiences as you do. But in a way you have to adapt to this new situation. You have to carry out yourself out of your comfort zone and just try to understand those people. So there's a saying in anthropology that I really love. It's just, anthropology is not trying to change the world. It's trying to understand people. It's trying to understand the world better.
And I think by understanding the world better, we understand also that failure is part of this world. And sometimes in many cases in my interviews or in my casual set conversation, I don't really have the information that I want, let's say, or that I'm looking for. But in the process, I find information that I really need to hear in a way or I really need to know about. So I think failure is realizing that there are so many opportunities out of your set rules or set values. It's trying to just be flexible about life situation and understand that things might not go the way you want to. And this is okay, and this is necessary. Because this will get you into the strength you need. And for me, I really love a quote by Susan Jeffers, and it's a book where she says, "Feel the fear and do it anyway."
Muthoni Waigwa: Listening to them share their life journeys, an African Proverb stood out to me, "To try and fail is not laziness." Failure is indeed a stepping stone to success. And this proverb encourages us to embrace failure as part of the learning process, emphasizing that it's not a sign of laziness, but of courage. And I remember a time where we had pitched for a project and we had made sure that our presentation was on point. We had all the elements that they were asking for, and we went for the presentation, or we went for the meeting. And from the way the meeting went, the meeting went well. But unfortunately, by the next day we knew that we had lost the bid.
And in that time or in that moment, I felt so deflated, like I had failed actually, because I wasn't successful in winning that bid. And it was one of those projects where it would have looked so great on our portfolio and the amount of money we could have earned from that project would have offset so many bills and helped us reinvest that money into our business. But in that moment, we lost the bid, and I felt so discouraged and I wondered, will we get another shot or another opportunity that we can work on and build our business?
And here's the thing, just because we lost the bid doesn't mean that we were unsuccessful. The fact that we showed up and presented and did our best, that's more than enough. At times, we let the world define success for us, when in fact we should be defining success for ourselves. So if you fail, that's okay. It's a learning moment. What can you gain from that moment? How can you be flexible and pick up moments and pick up points where you can improve on and change the way you would come into the world next time or change the way you will present yourself the next time you are in front of a marketing team or interview panel?
So failure will stretch our capacity, yet it strengthens our resilience. It strengthens us to continue pursuing our goals and dreams. I invite you to carry the lessons learned in this podcast into your own lives, embracing your inner strength and nurturing resilience in the face of adversity. Let's forge a future where we support one another and celebrate the triumphs shaping our journeys. Thank you for listening, and stay tuned for more inspiring episodes that will continue to ignite the flame of strength and resilience within you. Until next time, I'm your host, Muthoni Waigwa, bidding you farewell, but not goodbye.