Tales of Strength and Resilience: Ep 3 with Eve Kibare

Imagine losing your sight in a blink of an eye. How would you cope with the sudden darkness? How would you navigate the world without seeing it? How would you overcome the challenges and prejudices that come with being visually impaired?

Eve Kibare knows the answers to these questions. She is a film producer, content creator, communication consultant and storyteller who lost her sight three years ago due to an illness. But she did not let that stop her from pursuing her dreams and passions.  

She started a YouTube channel – Blind Girl Experience - to highlight the experiences and challenges she faces as a blind person, with an aim to create awareness, change people’s perception on impairment and encourage integration between the abled and the disabled community. Her channel has gained thousands of subscribers and views, and she has been featured in several media outlets as a role model and advocate for the blind community. 

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Transcript

Modboni Waigwa:

Welcome to the Tales of Strength and Resilience podcast, where we explore the boundless dimensions of strength and resilience. Join me, your host, Modboni Waigwa, on a transformative journey as we delve into the very essence of these profound qualities. We will unveil the multifaceted nature of strength and resilience in heartfelt conversations with extraordinary individuals. We will empower and enlighten through these inspiring stories, triumphing over adversity and discovering transformative lessons embedded within. Get ready for today's episode where untold stories of inner power and tenacity await us. Let's begin.

Before we begin with today's conversation, I would like to appreciate you for listening, thank you so much. Today's guest embodies resilience and her resolve to push through the odds truly resonated with me. This is because life is full of uncertainty and we can find ourselves trying to overcome a challenge and we can choose to stay stuck because of the magnitude of the circumstance. This reminds me of the pandemic where I felt like my life had abruptly come to a stop. Questions run through my mind. How would I navigate this pandemic? When will the pandemic end? If it doesn't end, how will my business navigate through the pandemic?

With that said, today's guest, Eve Kibare, who resides in Kenya, has built a career in TV and film production, then transitioned to owning her own business. However, she lost her sight due to an illness and had to make the choice on whether to continue pursuing her dreams or settle for less. Let's listen. Welcome onto the show, Eve.

Eve Kibare:

I'm very humbled to be here.

Modboni Waigwa:

Thank you for taking the time. So before we dive into our conversation, what's one thing that you are learning about yourself or what's one thing that stands out about you that we would not necessarily know?

Eve Kibare:

What I'm learning about myself. If I had cameras, if you guys had cameras in my house, you'd be laughing all day because of all the mistakes I keep making in my house. I keep losing things, but I'm learning not to take things personally and making this an adventure instead of a disadvantage or a bad thing. And I'm relearning how to live by myself again because I had stopped before and now I'm back to living by myself and it's a whole new experience.

Modboni Waigwa:

So just to pick something from your bio that stood out for me is that in a world where differences are often seen as threats, you choose to celebrate diversity and embrace the uniqueness of every human being. Tell us a little bit more.

Eve Kibare:

Aha. I think I've been on a reading journey and also before that's from, I think from 2018 is when I started watching random series, TV series just to understand people. And I think the main question was after I had attended a conference, an African conference, and I'm like, why are Africans like this? Were we always like this? No, that's the question that kept coming up. And so when I came back home, me being the person I am, I love TV, I've always loved TV from when I was very young. So I'm very curious about TV series, TV shows, movies, because that's how I understand the world. Because I believe in every script there's some truth in it. It's like where there's smoke there's fire. So for a script that's a smoke, there must be fire somewhere. So there has to be some truth in it.

So in that journey, I started watching random films and sometimes I would even watch the films that people would suggest even on Twitter. And I got to watching Vikings, and when I'm watching Vikings, I'm like, these guys are very different, but there are similarities with what they said Africans were, savages and everything. And I started watching even Epics series that would portray the world in the 15th century or the 14th century. And the more I'd watch these things, I'd realize that there's nothing different about these people, it's just that they have white skin and we have black skin. So there's nothing wrong with African people, it's just that we are human beings behaving differently because of the difference in the evolution of time and the difference in the evolution of also civilization and economic times and everything. If all matters remain constant, we'd all be the same, we'd all behave the same, but we are not behaving the same because we are going through different experiences because of differences in terms of even climate, upbringing, cultural beliefs and all that.

But at the bottom of everything, we are all the same. We are human beings first and foremost, before we go into the classification of in the living things, we are in the animals and then after animals we are human beings. And then after that, we now decide whether you're female, male, and all that. So that is a basic point of contact, and the more you realize that, the more you realize that all these other nuances are just ETCs. And if we embrace people as human beings first, you're able to see them for who they really are and not what they are. It's who they are.

Modboni Waigwa:

I hear you. For me as well, TV and film, that's how I relate to the world. That's how I process life situations. And as you've said, we are all human beings just having different experiences. But the one thing that is common amongst us is that we are having a humanly experience on this earth. And through the different stories that we watch and through the different stories that we read, one of the things that stands out to me about the human being or the human spirit is strength and resilience. So what does strength mean to you? And as you continue with that train of thought, is resilience the same as strength?

Eve Kibare:

For me, strength is the ability to brace for impact and not fall apart, especially during times of pressure. When there's life pressures and you're not able to fall apart, you hold intact, even if you have broken pieces, but you're not completely disintegrated, you are able to hold fort. And resilience for me means that it's the ability to pick yourself back up after a fall or after those broken pieces, you're able to put sellotape or glue or gum. So that for me, that is resilience. It's like, fine, I'm broken, but we can put gum to hold us on together. The ability to pick yourself back up even after impact. But the strength is the ability to stay strong, to hold fort even when there's impact, there's pressure.

Modboni Waigwa:

So if you're able to, could you share a life situation or challenge that truly tested your strength and resilience?

Eve Kibare:

I'd say the first one was in 2016, when I quit, when I resigned from working in the film industry, because for me, I started working in the film industry in 2013. I did study mass communication and then I majored in TV production. And then after school I knew for sure, for sure in my heart of hearts that I want to work in the film industry and not in the media houses. And I remember a lot people tell me, "Oh, apply to Nation." I'm like, "No." "KTN?" "No." "KBC?" "No." "K-24?" "Ah, na." "Citizen?" "No." And it kept coming up until I remember my mom told me, "What kind of job are you exactly looking for? You've gone to school, what exactly are you looking for?" And I'm like, "Not that. What you offering me is not it. I know it's not it." And in 2012, there was a time I went into the internet and then I Googled film industries in Kenya, and I remember writing them all down, A to Z in a notebook that I had, I don't know where that notebook went with their email addresses and their phone numbers.

And I was sticking a leap of faith thinking that probably I should reach out to these people, either call or write an email. But mostly because I was afraid I was not a cold caller. And then credit was a bit expensive on those days and bundles hadn't yet come to this level we have right now. I was like, let me do the emails. So anyway, so I eventually landed in the film industry in 2013, and it was not because someone wrote me back, it's actually by coincidence, somebody just connected me to a film director and I was introduced into the film industry as a personal assistant. And then within a month I was promoted to production manager. So now in 2015, I think I was really, really struggling with work, really, really struggling. I'm not growing as a producer, but then I'd grown to a producer.

I didn't feel like I was growing at all. I felt like I was stagnant and the office space was so toxic. So I chose to resign eventually. And then I went into entrepreneurship. I started a lingerie store online, running it online. And at first I thought I could do it with an online store with a website and everything, but as it may have been then I didn't have enough money to be able to make such a website. So I decided to run it on social media. And I'm telling you that year was long. I felt like it had 675 days as it was so long because I was broke half the time. The ability to even buy yourself, you know that you order food [inaudible 00:11:37], it was hard. It was almost close to impossible. And the things, the luxury, the simple luxuries of life had be taken away.

You find yourself with a 100 bob or 200 bob and you're debating, "So I'm going home, I'll pay. So after I pay, then you need the bus fare. I'll remain with 100 bob. Then this 100 bob, do I keep it for tomorrow to go to town? Or do I buy something to cook so that I can be able to?" And I'm like, "Okay, I can use 50 bob so that 50 bob will take me to town." And that's the conversation you have. And sometimes I would be on my fours or on the floor just crying and asking, "Is this it? Is this why I quit my job? Because this is what I was supposed to go? It's like I'm suffering." But it was a time now where I'd say it was building my resilience because despite how hard things were in terms of financial strength, I was not giving up.

In fact, it gave me more momentum to just grow the business and hope that it will be the thing that I wanted it to become. And the joy of fulfilling or fulfilling someone's wishes or just solving that problem of being able to deliver to the ladies that were my clients, mostly the ladies and even the few gentlemen, that gave me so much joy that I was able to grow something from the ground up. So I kept at it. And I think that is when I was able to test my strength because in all manner of things, I never, I even swore I thinking, is it in campus that I'd never do business? I'm going to go into employment. But here I am running a business from the ground up from scratch, and I was able to finish the year and I hadn't given up. I had not closed the business, and I never thought of applying for a job.

I continued with it and I continued with it even when things were not going the way I wanted them to go. I kept at it. I grew. And when I got to 1K followers on Facebook, I was so happy. I was like, "Oh my God, this is unbelievable. I didn't think I'd ever get here." So that was the first test, and I knew that I can survive even with 100 shillings, and so long as I am growing, I'm working on something, that will never put me down. That 100 shillings tomorrow will be 1,000 bob. But so long as I have something I'm working on, I know I can still grow it. Even if today I am at the least amount of money, I can still make it tomorrow, so long as I'm working on something and not just sitting down and saying things are hard. So that was the first test of my strength and resilience because I didn't quit on my business and I never looked for a job because it was hard.

The next time I was hit with an experience was now in 2020. I fell sick. In fact, my business had now started picking up because well, COVID came and people are now doing a lot of online shopping. And I'm like, "Yes, finally my business is making sense. After four years of a lot of work, we are here now, we are going to be the MVPs. I will now finally get to the list of 40 under 40. Oh my goodness, here I am." Anyway, 2020 comes in and it starts on a low, then a high note. Then around June I fall sick and I thought it was a bacterial infection. It was going to take me out for a week and then I'll be back on track, but it never came to be. And on June 12th, I woke up and I was partially sighted, and then it depreciated to the point that I completely lost my sight into November, 2020.

And I think that was a very painful moment for me because I did not know what to do next. Despite the fact that yes, I've lost my sight, I still had this eagerness to get back on my feet. So yes, strength, I'll say was demonstrated with my body and the willingness of my body not to die because my brain, I was ready. I was so ready. So many times I was like, "Man, why are you still alive? We could have died. It could have been so easy. Why are we here?" So during that period, between June and let's say December 2020, my body showed a lot of strength because me, on the other hand, I didn't think I really wanted to be here. But my body was here and it was not die, and it was getting better despite the sight going, the body itself it got back to its usual strength. But for me, I really wanted it to call it quits.

Then resilience is now, the brain started picking it up and you're like, "Okay, fine. Since we are alive, we are not going anywhere. We need to do something about it because oh, well, we made a pact in the hospital that if this is how life is going to be, then it better be a very exceptional life. We better have fun at it." So I started talking to my friends about it and I was like, "Okay, fine. What do blind people do for fun? What do blind people do?" And nobody seemed to have an idea. And I was like, "Oh my God, what if I start a YouTube channel and able to demonstrate these things as I go by, things that I'm trying out now that I'm blind and people get to watch me, make me on visual, on air." And it seemed like a very good idea. But before it took root, it took almost another year before I got people to come on board and volunteer to help me make this dream come true.

So for me, resilience at that point in time was picking myself back up and still beginning the journey of creating a brand for myself despite the circumstances of losing my sight.

Modboni Waigwa:

Such a powerful story of strength and resilience. Thank you so much for sharing that. And it's amazing, again, the human spirit, the power that it has to keep on moving forward. And because you're visually impaired doesn't mean that you cannot continue doing TV production because you are still a storyteller. It's just the format in the way your story is going to be put out there or the stories that you produce will be in a different format, but they can still be consumed by people around the world. So be it YouTube and even the Twitter Spaces that you are putting out currently. So tell us a little bit more about your Twitter Spaces and why it's important to create such spaces for yourself and for other people that you're advocating for in the visually impaired space.

Eve Kibare:

The teacher spaces came in as, I think it's when one thing is failing, you pick up something else that works. And one of the things that I have learned during this period is work with what's working. Don't put so much stress on the things that are not working. You work with the things that are working, even if it's ingredients. If you look in your house and you're like, "Oh my God, there's no food," because well, maybe you wanted to work, you wanted to cook some specific meal, but the ingredients are not there. But there are other ingredients, it's just that that's not the meal you wanted to cook with. So instead of getting disappointed, you're like, "Oh no, I don't have this or that," you decide to work with the things that are available. So what do we have available and what can we make out of that?

So with the Twitter Spaces, that's what happened. This year has been a very tough year for me, 2023, because the volunteers became a bit busy because now after Covid, the film industry had kind of fallen. People had lost jobs, people didn't have gigs anymore. So now 2022 and 2023 things started picking up and people got busy again, and they didn't have time to be able to volunteer with me. So I felt disheartened for a while because I didn't know what to do next because that was what I had purpose to do. That was my now main mission in life, honestly. And I think I'm still going to achieve it. It's just that the moment it has hit a roadblock.

So I asked myself, "What else can I do and what else am I really good at, and what do I have available to me so that I can work with that?" And then I kept thinking about it. I was like, "Okay, let me see Twitter Spaces. Do I need an extra hand?" Because I was tired of all the, "I'll let you knows," and the no's that I was receiving from other people because one of the things we need to take into mind is that when you're disabled, especially in Kenya, you become very dependent on somebody else because the amenities and the facilities and the technology does not allow you to be 100% independent. You find that you keep asking for help, you keep asking for someone else to do something extra for you because you can't do it 100% by yourself. So I got tired of always depending on other people, because I was a very independent human being.

So I chose to do, I decided, let me take a leap of faith and also try the Twitter Spaces because I can talk and I don't need a script to talk and I can be able to talk about my journey, share about my journey, and in the theory that there's somebody out there who could be probably going through the same issues and not necessarily with regards to visual impairment, but just life and they can relate to it and they can grow from it. So that's how I started Twitter Spaces. But the first time I honestly wasn't sure how it's going to work, but I set it up, I went to the Spaces, scheduled the space. I didn't know, I just listened to the instructions from my screen reader and scheduled the space. And then on the D-Day, I decided I'll be doing the Twitter Spaces on Wednesday.

And for the first four Spaces were at 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM and it started picking up. And for me, my mantra has always been, you don't need to help the whole world. You just need to touch one person at a time, impact one person at a time. And that result was important to me because sometimes it could be that point, even for me, when I was at my lowest, you find a story, listening to a story, that story, it touches you. And probably that story was written like 10 years ago. But you see when that person was writing that story, they were just telling their story and you are listening to it 10 years later and it relates to you and you're like, "Oh my God." It changes the way you are feeling. It changes your despair into hope.

So I was like, "Let me do this. Let me try do this." And even it'll help with the building of my brand and profile on Twitter, and people can relate to me as a person who is a storyteller and also someone who can speak on issues relating to life and also visual impairment there.

Modboni Waigwa:

Most definitely, it is helping someone out there. I'm learning that our stories have power, and when we embrace our stories and let go of the shame, indeed at least one person will be helped, one person will be encouraged and one person will be guided along the way of this journey called life. So you are truly a testament of resilience and determination. So if someone is seated across you right now and they have given up, what would you tell them in this moment?

Eve Kibare:

If they've given up, that means it's at the end, rock bottom. That would be hard to convince somebody to un give up. But what I would say is what do you have on the table? Right now, what do you have? What do have that is working? And you find that most times they're not. It's because when you give up, it's because you're looking at all the things that are not working. So it could be a relationship where you're like, "Oh my God, this guy is leaving me and we were supposed to do this, and you were supposed to do that, and you feel so despaired." But you're like, "Okay, fine, he's not there. But what's working with you right now? Your eyes are seeing, right? Your ears are hearing? Yeah. What do you like doing? What is it that comes naturally to you?" And that's the question I ask anybody who feels like they're not doing the most in life, because life has set up a template through other issues that come across, but just on a very basic level, what comes naturally to you?

Because even me being a storyteller, it's because it's been there since. Even as a child, I was always being told, "Chemia, keep quiet. You have too many stories." I can go on and on and on about nothing in particular. I can retell the story of wrestling. So that came naturally to me. So when I lost my sight, I'm like, "Okay, at this point, what comes very naturally to me that I do not have to go an extra mile to learn, but it comes very naturally." That's where you start. It could be you cook very well, it just comes very naturally to you. You love the skill that you just go to the kitchen and you put things together and they come out beautifully. That's where you start. It could be you're very good with crafts. You can do woodwork, you can do metalwork, you can do designs for clothes and whatever.

There are things that come very naturally to you that no one else has to teach you. No one has to sit with you and tell you do this or do that. That's where you start, what comes naturally to you. And if it's just laughing, there are people who laugh and they make the whole room lighten up, then do that. Then you work with what you have at the moment and build from there. And it starts like a block at a time. Because at the end of the day, every human being has purpose. Every human being there's something they can do for them that comes very naturally to them and not to everybody else. So you have to embrace that. And sometimes it doesn't have to be the difficult things. It could be just a smile. There are people who just smile and you feel like they hear you, they see you. That's where you start.

Modboni Waigwa:

I love to hear it. What comes naturally to you that is so important to focus on and not to focus on the things that are not working. So as we wind down this conversation, what are your future hopes and what is your closing remark for anyone who's listening right now?

Eve Kibare:

My future hope is that I can be able to revive my YouTube channel and get to explore life and through the blind perspective, because I feel like there's so much humor, there's so much life to be lived, and I want to explore it through my YouTube channel so that I can be able to encourage anybody else who's stuck. It's like I'm taking one for the team. You know that those things you never think blind people would do, but because I had sight for 30 years, there are things I've seen and probably never thought about them. But now I'm thinking about them like, "Oh my goodness, what if I do this as a blind person?" And then I'll open up the door for any other person who probably was born visually impaired and might never get a chance to think about it because no one ever thought of doing it.

So I'll do it for them and I can open up that thought process for them. And also, I want to travel and get as many stories all over Africa on visual impairment and the experiences and their wins and just the exemplary attitude towards life, because we get to see it from their perspective. And we see that people are doing amazing, amazing things despite this disability. So it's not the hindrance from them living their lives. It's actually a bonus and it'll change people's perspective or perception on visual impairment. It'll also change the stigma and it'll create awareness and offer entertainment. So that's my dream. That's what I'd want to do because I'd want to be the Oprah of Africa, but on visual impairment and life and life in general.

My closing remark would be like, life is not linear. It's not a template. There's no one way to live life. Live life your own style, because you are the only you that's ever going to exist in this life. So live it your way. And it's not to say break the rules, but enjoy your process. Enjoy the journey of life. Yes, I've been hit by this catastrophe of losing my sight, but at the end of the day, yes, I can't get it back. It's permanent. It's gone. It's gone for good.

So the best I can do is enjoy life on this other side of life, make friends, go do activities, meet new people, network, build a brand, build whatever you can. Make sure that the day you spend with yourself, each and every day when you're going to bed, why you happy with yourself? Are you happy with how you spent your day? Or are you waiting for tomorrow so that the day can be better? Nope, live the best day every single day, like it's your best day. Because at the end of the day, you never, nobody ever knows when they're going to die. Even those ones who know they're going to die, they know a bit like five minutes before time. So there's not much you can do about it.

But if you live life, just enjoy every day, if you can. On those days, on the good days, enjoy them so that by the time you get to bed, you ask yourself, "Am I happy with my today? Did I get to do the best I could today? Even when I was stuck in traffic, did I enjoy the traffic? Did I enjoy the scenery? Did I listen to a book? Did I listen to music? How do I make that tragedy "a beautiful moment" that I need to celebrate?" Because at the end of the day, it's your day and it's your life.

Modboni Waigwa:

Yes, it's your day, it's your life and live it your way. Thank you so much, Eve, for sharing your story and for sharing your wisdom.

I invite you to carry the lessons learned in this podcast into your own lives, embracing your inner strength and nurturing resilience in the face of adversity. Let's forge a future where we support one another and celebrate the triumphs shaping our journeys. Thank you for listening and stay tuned for more inspiring episodes that will continue to ignite the flame of strength and resilience within you. Until next time, I'm your host, Modboni Waigwa, bidding you farewell, but not goodbye.